Elephant
I wasn’t going to make a post like this.
I quietly and gradually came out on social media, over the first half of 2022. As a binary trans guy who just wants to functionally disappear and live my life and is also pretty exhausted with the social effort of disclosing, over and over, exactly precisely how trans I am on dating apps, etc., I just wanted to let readers figure out where I was vs making another awkward, formal announcement. I figured it was easily assembled via my Twitter, my presence in the comments on here and on the Discord, and anyway it makes very little material difference to the comic, which is what people are here on this website for.
But it’s getting harder to sit quietly with people seeing me in the comments, replying as who I am, and then responding to me or someone else with my old name. More importantly, in the current climate of unprecedented attacks on my rights in states all over the US, where I live, being stealth, being silent, is a privilege, even a luxury, a safety net not everyone like me has. My people are being effectively Othered by a narrative positioning us as child predators; the Arkansas Senate just passed a bill that would by its phrasing make me a felon if I use a public restroom with my own son who needs to go. So it feels important you know we’re not child groomers; we’re the dude who makes the comic you read with the magic horses and cowboys, who takes his kid to the dentist on a Wednesday morning and writes stilted coming out posts from the waiting room. We’re trans and we’re also regular ass people just existing out here. Half of you didn’t even notice I’ve been an out trans guy for an age at this point, that’s how regular my ass is. Now please stop calling me by my old name in the comments, and please resist, to the best of your individual ability, the rising tide of bullshit looking to strip me and people like me of some of our most basic rights in whatever state or country you call home.
So hi. I’m EE “Ben” Mehlos. Don’t get it twisted. I hope we’re still friends and partners in storytelling, but if not, if you can’t hang with it, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out; you aren’t the first, you won’t be the last, and I will likely notice you’re gone about as hard as you noticed who’s been making Next Town Over. 💖
—Ben
EDIT 3/21/23: Thank you all so much for the supportive comments! It has been far more positive than expected and I’m touched and a little relieved. I intended to reply to each but there are now so many I’m probably going to stop but please know that I read and appreciate every one.
I apologize for the semi-confrontational tone of the original post but I was fresh from scrolling the newsfeeds and anticipating comments more like the ones left by a singular, tenacious transphobe, which I shoveled fairly instantly into the trash. My existence is not a debate and I’m not paying for webhosting to platform stochastic terrorism, full stop. To that person: if you get around my IP blocking through accident or intent to leave more I’m just going to do it again bro; enjoy using your limited time on this earth writing shit for the dumpster I guess.
Hello Ben. Love your work on NTO. Much love and please keep NTO coming!
🫶
I follow the comic but am not on Twitter or Discord, and don’t always read the posts, so I was completely unaware of your status. My apologies if any of my previous comments misrepresented you. As long as the art and storytelling maintains the same high quality I’ve all come to appreciate, I have no reason at all to bail on the site. Have a pleasant day and hopefully your son doesn’t have any cavities.
Cavity-free, thank you, and thank you for having stuck around for actual decades 😂
Howdy Ben! glad you did this, i definitely would have kept writing your old name, unaware! otherwise nothing’s changed, still top notch story teller and artist. this and hells corners were/are daily checks for me, keep up the awesome!
I appreciate you’ve been around all these aeons. I still treasure the fanart you did. Thanks so much for the support 💖
Ben! I’m Far too ANTI-Social for Social Media, so Call me Oblivious. The last Time I can recall speaking to you Directly and calling You by Name, I was Asking your Permission to Discus your then Serious Medical Difficulties, with Your New Fans on the Napalm Luck Forum. If I have more Recently, I apologize. An old friend on the Forum, Cobra. His Alter Kim is a More Accurate Avatar of the Inside of Who They Are. Cobra/Kim has a Wife and Family. We corresponded for years on Napalm Luck, and They considered me a Good Enough Friend that They, Out of the Blue …
I told Cobra/Kim MY only regret, was that I was too Polite to Ask, What, if I’m Honest, I was not Surprised to Discover. I said that I was VERY Flattered that They Trusted Me This Much. I said I was only Sorry I had made it more difficult for Them … Oblivious.
I assured Them. and was Pleasantly Surprised that I Meant Every Word:
It was No effort at ALL, and the tiniest of Mental Shifts [almost a Shrug] to think of Them as the Same Delightfully Whimsical Pixie, I’d always Known.
Ben, You are a Fabulous Writer! Vane Black, and John Henry Hunter Ring Solidly TRUE as Female, Male, and 2 Faces of the Self Same Coin, Spinning on a Table Top. I can easily see much of Your Face in Either or Both of Theirs. I Have, Always Felt H.H.R. the most Sympatetic. He really IS a Terrible Villain [the Very Best Kind!] Just a Die Hard Fan of Vincent, I Guess.
Thanks so much for this, and for all the kind words over the years. I didn’t really realize as I was posting this how much it would actually mean to me to have longtime readers reply with messages of support but it super does as it turns out. 🙏
HUZZAHS! Be your goddamned self and let us stick our fingers in the eyes of any who disapprove!
You’ve given us a terrific story with incredible art and while “on the internet nobody knows you’re a dog” remains mostly true, why hide?
Glad you’re you, Ben. May your future be a terribly happy one.
Very much obliged, gyffes 🙏
All the best to you, Ben! Hope everything will turn out well for you in the near and far future.
I don’t think I’ve commented before here on-site (we did have some brief interactions on Twitter a long time ago, though), but I’ve been eagerly reading along!
I hope to see more of the comic soon, but take it easy, too, with all the toxic and transphobic shit being hurled at you it can’t be easy to just exist sometimes.
Thank you so much Sophie and yeah I think we’re Twitter mutuals; I ended up reading Soul’s Journey I think because I was looking for a hot minute for a flatter but first I gave the gig to a friend and then I was just too slow and broke to pay anyone for flats. lol. Thanks so much for sticking it out; I very much hope to close out NTO this year at long last. 💖
i’ve been reading for years and bought books and pins, but i’m entirely absent from social media and, mostly, from the comments section, so i’ve been oblivious until now. i am, however, in much the same position, so i understand! best wishes!
Thank you, for both the financial support and the kind words and best wishes to you as well 🙏
Best wishes Ben
Much obliged and best wishes to you as well!
It’s a hard time for the whole LGBT community but it’s a really bad time to be trans. Stay strong, you are not alone (Transwoman here.)
You too, and thank you ❤️
Your art and stories are phenomenal, I hope someday that my stories will be as captivating as yours. I hate that we live in a world where people have to fight to be themselves. The next generation will be better than the last.
Dave
Thanks so much, Dave, and hopefully so ❤️
Hey, Ben.
Thank you for all the beautiful work on NTO; it is a gift and you are wonderful for giving it. While I appreciate you coming out, it doesn’t change my perception of you, which is that you’re a talented and interesting artist & storyteller. Here’s to you keeping safe and keeping on.
Best Wishes (and I’ve joined the patreon), –Brad.
🙏
Hi Ben!
I don’t know you personally, and most likely never will. I don’t care about your gender identity / sexual preferences, or whatever is bothering other people. I like your comic, it is great! It is somewhat sad that the pure enjoyment of it is overshadowed to some people by irrelevant things (they actually have no business on judging).
Good luck on any battles you have to fight, may it not be as tragic as our protagonists’ here! 🙂
The comic is really great, did I mention that? Yeah, I probably did. That is all what matters to us, “regular ass people”.
Thanks much from one regular ass person to another 🙂
Great story, very (very!) good art. Your life, however, is your business – not mine. What’s important is that you’re happy with where you’re at and where you’re going. Best of luck with your future!
🙏
Hi Ben! I had no idea until reading this post, but I LOVE that you are you, and that you are willing to share so much of yourself with us. I know we’re coming close to the end of NTO and it’s been a wild ride, and I look forward to following you into the next project – which appears to be going full steam ahead!
Thanks so much; it means a ton coming from people who’ve variously supported me/NTO over the years as much as you have; there’s always a vague fear of like, perceived betrayal? when coming out to anyone who has invested or even feels like they’ve invested in you and your life. Much appreciated, for real. 🙏
Been here for a decade reading your work and the least i could pay you is referring to you as you expect.
It doesn’t cost me anything to be respectful to you, Ben. if anything, i’m very grateful for your work
Carry on, your life should be as normal as everyone else’s
Thanks so much, for your support on here and on the Twitters 🙏
as a long time fan i had no clue, and HAVE no clue about what it’s like, but you do you and f**k anybody who has a problem with it
Very much obliged ❤️
Hopefully this comes across in the positive intent it was meant and not a “Not all…” post. I’m bad with words.
I never read the comments and only occasionally read your posts, Ben, so have no real idea who you are now or then. 🙂 That said, I want you to know that there are those of us who are fighting for your rights. I know it’s not much, but we do see you and agree that you should be able to just live your life.
Comes across fine and allies are always appreciated; thank you so much for the support ❤️
For what’s it’s worth from an anon internet stranger; I will do all that I can to fight for yours and everyone’s rights to live a life untethered from unwarranted hatred and stigma.
Good luck with all the bullshit of this world my friend. I am pulling for you and so many others.
🙏
From one storyteller to another, thank you for a wild and rambunctious ride and all the best for future endeavors.
I run the Four Winds Storytellers’ Library, 6000 volumes of folktales, as a resource for traditional storytellers, writers or anyone who wants to explore the vast riches of the old oral stories from the past that survived to the world of print. In The Four Winds there are folktales of men that become women, women who are transformed into men, same sex bonds and relationships that were disguised as friendships by the recorders of the tales.
It was these stories that taught me that there are many ways of knowing who we can be and the many ways we can relate to each other long before I encountered the LGBT world.
Thank you Ben, and I look forward to ‘The Next Story Over’
🫶
Hey Ben,
I been here not quite since the beginning, and your story telling is fucking fantastic. And you are incredibly awesome. Thank you for being you and sharing so much with us.
Thanks Jake!
Hey ben, been here since issue 2 and winced at every moment of every horse torture scene. Loved every minute of it. I am not on any social media so this was the first I heard of anything but you keep doing you and making this comic awesome. Literally have been coming to check in on NTO 3 times a week for a long ass time.
Thanks so much! Support expressed by people I recognize as having been around the whole time has meant more to me than I even expected.
Hi Ben!
As a T-total anti-social-media-ist, I don’t *have* any of those website/app/thingies you mentioned, but I love your work and am always happy to comment on your awesome art and storytelling! <3 Best of luck to you, you'll probably *need* it dealing with the crazies who mistakenly believe that your internal feelings of person-hood are somehow their look-out.
Thanks for the support Brent — both this comment and the years of comments on the comic!
Welp – didn’t notice – don’t care. Be you. That’s all that matters.
I’ll keep reading.
🫡
Hi Ben, like a lot of folk here I don’t do social media so had no idea, I’ve just been coming here diligently for years to read a great story.
I don’t understand the hate directed at trans people, I know it will get better and I hope it will do so sooner rather than later.
Thanks for the support now and over the years 🫶
Hi Ben!
Like many others here I don’t do social media so I only found out this now, but I wanted to take the time and tell you not only I still really enjoy the comic after all this years, but also wish you all the best in your life.
I know finally coming out “officially” is a scary step but I wanted to reassure you we’re right besides you.
One of my best friends is a trans man who, finally, finally cut off contact with his parents after many years of hoping to bring them round (they’d do subtle things like “accidentally” dead-naming him, or getting him feminine clothing as a gift and other such things), so I can only hope that your family is a whole lot better than his and give you the support you actually deserve.
And seriously the bigoted cockwombles who invented the whole thing about “trans people being groomers” (wanna bet that’s projection? ) can go bugger themselves with a hedgehog.
Also, I think I should go relabel the books you gave me with your proper name. The signature already reads “E”, so that’s fine, not that I was going to mess with it, ’cause messing with a guy’s signature is usually grounds for a duel…
Cheers, Alex
Quite honestly when I was posting this I ran through a shortlist of readers who’ve been around and variously visibly supportive over the entire absurd span of time I’ve done the comic (or close to it) and wondered if and how a lot of them would react and you were absolutely like near the top of the list. So I’m super happy, even lowkey relieved you commented; thank you.
As far as the name on the old books, I often joke about this on Twitter: https://twitter.com/EMehlos/status/1623726209434628096?s=20
It’s the least I can do.
I think this is a bit more stylish than sharpieing the cover. Unfortunately, my printer can’t get dark enough to match the black or print gold letters and the adhesive labels I had on had are bit see-through, but I think it’ll do for now, what do you think? : https://imgur.com/a/QHBhca7
Also, I decided not to touch the other issues, or the various drawings you made for me – they all sit in a folder and are not casually visible, but I do have an extra sticker if you’d like me to cover the name on the letter you’ve written me in 2012 as well.
Hi Ben! I’m a born lurker, so I don’t follow much on social media unless you’re the official Pokemon Go account. I just want you to know you are a beautiful person inside and out and I love your comic so much.
Okay, back to lurking. *gets swallowed up by an html bush*
🫶
Started reading just over a decade ago (Genevieve), though at first commented with a different nickname (Pigeon Feller). Kept checking your website for updates every week since, even though I haven’t posted in a hot minute. I thought you would get tired of me constantly repeating that your art is possibly the best webcomic art on the whole internet, I didn’t have the words to express it properly. Thought so then, and it only got better.
You transitioning changes nothing. I hope for some sanity for everyone, so we can just let people live their lives in peace. Difficult enough already without people getting involved where they’re not wanted.
Cheers, keep rocking Ben!
Side note, a surprising number of webcomic artists I follow have transitioned. The authors behind The Glass Scientist, Goblins, Not Drunk Enough, Dresden Codak are the ones that come to mind. It’s… somewhat common!
Thank you so much for your support here and over the years! Though I myself got less in the habit of chatting in the comments I still read and appreciate every one.
And yeah certain art spaces do seem to disproportionately attract trans people, both closeted and actualized. Transphobes love to talk about the “social contagion”; there’s a kernel of truth there purely in the sense that other visible trans people often show you what’s possible and act as the nudge to assemble puzzle pieces already littering your floor. I’m older; I didn’t see trans men growing up to know it was even a thing (I now know this is because trans elders in the wayback were specifically counseled to go fully stealth asap by their providers but that’s another whole topic) and personally my dam very much burst watching some of my [mostly younger] peers come out as trans and get appreciably happier.
Anyway! 🫶
Thank you for the insight! I wish you as much happiness as you saw in others.
Looking forward to what you’ve kept in store for the end of the story of these two! Will be a nice excuse for a second re-read, see what I missed with the benefit of hindsight.
The biggest takeaway from this is now I know the proper name and gender to use when referring to the dude who makes such a fantastic comic. I’m glad to see the majority of people enjoying such a fun series as this are mostly excellent folk. I’m still pretty new to this series, and I kinda avoid the site since I want to keep enjoying the series in book form, same as I did for the first 2 volumes, but I’m glad I popped on to check in on any updates. Hope to see the final installment on my shelf with hopefully the right name on it. You rock Ben. As does your incredible series.
Hello Ben! Just read your edited post and want to say thank you for an amazing comic and that I completely agree with your statements in the post. I wish you all the best and a happy life for you and your loved ones. You don’t have to reply to this. Best regards from Sweden!
Greetings Ben!
I started reading the comic – wait, over a decade ago? Must be. Loved it every step of the way. I am happy that you can live as yourself, and I hope you have loving and supportive people in your everyday life.
Cheers from Finland!
I only just saw this post, but I had to chime in… I’ve been following this comic silently for years now, hanging on every update, and it figures that of all times I’d fall behind now… but if I’m going to bother commenting on any post, it might as well be this one- albeit two months and change late.
I am a still semi-closeted trans woman, also in the US. It’s a damned scary time for us, in this country. Half the map has turned into hostile territory in less than a year. History is repeating itself, and I often feel like the proverbial canary in the coal mine choking to death scant minutes before everyone else realizes they’re screwed- whether they figure it out in time to save anyone but themselves is still very much up in the air, isn’t it? I’m sometimes inclined to drop walls of text, but this, I think, I can keep simple:
Art is culture. You make art.
You make *culture,* and the people who hate you only make *misery.* Remember that. You are a better person than they will ever be, and by that contribution you have done more to better this world than they will ever do.
Can’t wait to see how the story ends… or whatever comes next. If the archives are anything to go by, it’ll be one hell of a ride.
I don’t care what your genes, your assignation at birth, or pronouns are. You are a person, and an artist, and you’ve shared art and love with us. I stand with you.
I never even knew you were trans to begin with, so it matters not.
Hey Ben! You’ve always drawn one of the most kickass comics that I love to read! Been here since page twenty or so because someone posted a screencap of Hunter or other on 4chan of all places.
Rock on, stay solid, I’ll be here cheering on whatever you do.
Fully a third of all my friends are trans and it doesn’t make a lick of difference for who they are to me. I won’t fuck around with their pronouns, I’ve apparently been staggeringly good with not slipping up and even my non binary friends are kept happy.
So you do you, it doesn’t change my support for you.
Much love from the Netherlands.
Gosh… I come here regularly to read a good story, I never scrolled down to the comments uptil now and by chance I somehow decided to read your post “elephant”. Never knew your background, so all of this is totally news to me. And somehow… totally unimportant too.
Don’t take this negative though, I just mean to say that you write a good story which has kept me captive for years already, and what you are or were does not influence my attitude to you or Next Town Over in any way. You are who you are, that’s enough for me. And when there are certain laws in your nation which makes you a criminal when you’re acting like a normal caring person… that puts the government to blame, not you.
This said: I think this series is approaching it’s final ending, and I am curious on how that ending goes. So: go on doing what you do. And apart from NTO I wish you a happy and good life.
I haven’t followed you on Twitter, so like other commenters, didn’t know. All I can say is the situation is infuriating. I’ve known of trans people my entire adult life—Chrstine Jorgensen had her reassignment surgery in 1953, the year before I was born. Wendy Carlos came out in the pages of Playboy Magazine in 1979, laid bare her fears of career-ending rejection, only to go on to continue her collaborations with Stanley Kubrick just fine.
There have always been risks for trans folks, but this politically-motivated stream of hatred is a recent development, and extremely concerning—for society as well as trans individuals.
If we can’t let people be themselves, albeit different from ourselves, we might as well turn it all over to the AIs right now. Our difference make us human, and make us interesting, not scary.
As an aging cishet dude, I may not be able to really understand what it means to be trans, any more than I do what it means to be gay, but I can have empathy for the challenges, the shared aspects of love and identity and humanity. I don’t HAVE to understand to care.
I care, and I’m pissed as hell. I thought we were headed in the other direction, What kind of world are we leaving our kids?
Ultra vanilla cisgender guy from the Midwest here who, like others it seems, was completely unaware of any changes to your identification. And I can confidently say, so what? I mean, I’m genuinely sorry to hear that you’ve had a hard time because of it, but I seriously could not care less. Live your life, don’t hurt others, be kind. In general, if you’re down with that I don’t care who or what anyone chooses to be.
I wish you the best, Ben. Educate the ignorant, ignore the hateful, and forgive the inflexible – mayhaps they didn’t choose their way of being any more than any of us got to ‘choose’ what we are.
My appreciation for your work remains solidly unchanged. Your art and storytelling are both amazing. As NTO reaches it’s finale, I’m hopeful for what may come next.
I quit Twitter as a new year resolution, and Discord still feels IRC cliquish.
That said, I had kinda noticed when the name changes appeared on Twitter last year. Didn’t comment because… you’re you. You’re who you want and need to be. Full stop.
P.S. I’ve had a lot of practice on accepting people for who they are and need to be in the past 10 years. Our motto chez Jones has been “love people for who they are, not who you want them to be”. Having non NT kids teaches you a few fundamental things after all.